ARC Review: How It Feels To Fly

How It Feels To Fly | Kathryn Holmes

Published by: HarperTeen, June 14th 2016

Genre: YA, Contemporary, Mental Illness, Anxiety

Pages: 368

Format: Ebook

Source: HarperTeen, via Edelweiss

The movement is all that matters. 

For as long as Samantha can remember, she’s wanted to be a professional ballerina. She’s lived for perfect pirouettes, sky-high extensions, and soaring leaps across the stage. Then her body betrayed her.

The change was gradual. Stealthy.

Failed diets. Disapproving looks. Whispers behind her back. The result: crippling anxiety about her appearance, which threatens to crush her dancing dreams entirely. On her dance teacher’s recommendation, Sam is sent to a summer treatment camp for teen artists and athletes who are struggling with mental and emotional obstacles. If she can make progress, she’ll be allowed to attend a crucial ballet intensive. But when asked to open up about her deepest insecurities, secret behaviors, and paralyzing fears to complete strangers, Sam can’t cope. 

What I really need is a whole new body.

Sam forms an unlikely bond with Andrew, a former college football player who’s one of her camp counselors. As they grow closer, Andrew helps Sam see herself as he does—beautiful. But just as she starts to believe that there’s more between them than friendship, disappointing news from home sends her into a tailspin. With her future uncertain and her body against her, will Sam give in to the anxiety that imprisons her?

There were so many moments when I connected with this book, and it was totally unexpected. So, so happy I picked it up. Here are my thoughts:

- I can't imagine what it feels like for your own body to make your career impossible, or ruin any chance of your dreams coming true.

- I love Samantha, and felt everything she was going through. Her own bravery made me feel really motivated in myself.

- I ADORE the friends Sam made, and their strange relationships and interactions. They'd never be friends ordinarily, but I love how they came together.

- But I did feel icky about the 'romance'. It was really obvious where it was going and it made me so uncomfortable to read it.

- BUT I loved everything else!

- An uplifting, funny, inspiring, emotional book. I want to read it all over again.

Characters ★★★★☆
Setting/World ★★★★☆

Writing ★★★★☆

Reading round up (66)

Reading round up is a weekly journal where I record my daily reading progress, my thoughts on each book as I read it, and any books I've acquired during the week.

16th February

I finished A Magic Dark and Bright (19% read) and THAT ENDING!!! How cruel you are, Jenny Adams Perinovic! I need the next book right now.

I also started The Distance Between Lost and Found by Kathryn Holmes which was kind of a wildcard pick for me. I love the cover, was interested in the blurb (although put off by it being a contemporary and my general non-enjoyment of those...) but it could have gone either way. Happily, the survival element of the story is PREVALENT and it's AWESOME. I love this, how the MC has been silenced by a reputation she didn't earn, the exploration of male and female voices and which are heard or ignored, and also the fact it's set in a Wild Mountain Landscape. Uber cool. I read 58% in one sitting.

17th February

I finished The Distance Between Lost and Found and it was harrowing and left a hollow feeling in me. 

I started Suspicion by Alexandra Monir (81 pages) but I'm not sure what to think yet. I like the aristocracy thing but not sure about the MC, whose voice has changed like 3 times I swear.

Because I reckon Suspicion will be a slow read for me, I also started Nightbird by Alice Hoffman (33%), which is odd and maybe boring (I can't tell) but may turn out fairly good. As someone who enjoys middle grade, I haven't enjoyed the past 3 I've read. Which is fair upsetting.

18th February

I finished Nightbird (67%), which was pretty sweet if slow the whole way through. Didn't reeeeeeeeally like it, but didn't hate it either.

19th February

I read 22 pages of Suspicion. The more insults that are thrown at England and the English, the less patience and enthusiasm I have with this. Thought it'd be Amazing but so far it's kind of Alright. 

I had hoped to cut Suspicion with Bound By Prophecy by Melissa Wright, my first Saruuh explores NA read, but I read the entire thing in one sitting (252 pages). Oops. It is SO GOOD. My first NA novel and it blew me away. Crazy, insane, wildly good urban fantasy with characters that I adore!!

20th February

Abandoning Suspicion for now because it's not holding my attention or interest and I'm low on patience. However, I am ADDICTED to the Descendants series. I read Shifting Fate by Melissa Wright. All 214 pages of it. What an exciting, romantic, thrilling series!!!!

21st February

I read 80% of Reign of Shadows, the last in the Descendants series. So far I can't stand Callan but that's to be expected. What's his deal with trying to 'help' Brianna. More like trying to own her.

22nd February

Finished Reign of Shadows (20%) and it was a great ending to the series!! Even if the end of the book did feel a little rushed and I kept expecting more conflict.

I also started Crow Moon by Anna McKerrow (read 82 pages) and it's really interesting!! The MC is a guy of colour and it's set in Devon and Cornwall which is uber cool.

Books finished this week: 6
Books DNF'd this week: 1

A Vision for the Future | Melissa Wright

King of Ash and Bone | Melissa Wright

Shifting Fates | Melissa Wright

Reign of Shadows | Melissa Wright

Sooooooo I adored Bound By Prophecy and went and downloaded everything I could get my hands on by Melissa Wright. I plan to read Frey and buy the rest of the series if I love it ASAP!! I can't wait to start Shifting Fate and Reign of Shadows, and the other two sound suitably exciting!!

A Magic Dark and Bright (scheduled for 25th April)

The Distance Between Lost and Found
Nightbird (scheduled for TOMORROW)
Bound by Prophecy (scheduled for March 7th)
Shifting Fate (scheduled for March 10th)
Reign of Shadows (scheduled for March 12th)

The Distance Between Lost and Found (ARC Review)

The Distance Between Lost and Found | Kathryn Holmes

Published by: HarperTeen, Feburary 17th 2015

Genre: YA, Survival, Contemporary

Pages: 320

Format: Ebook

Source: HarperTeen, via Edelweiss

Ever since the night of the incident with Luke Willis, the preacher’s son, sophomore Hallelujah Calhoun has been silent. When the rumors swirled around school, she was silent. When her parents grounded her, she was silent. When her friends abandoned her … silent.

Now, six months later, on a youth group retreat in the Smoky Mountains, Hallie still can’t find a voice to answer the taunting. Shame and embarrassment haunt her, while Luke keeps coming up with new ways to humiliate her. Not even meeting Rachel, an outgoing newcomer who isn’t aware of her past, can pull Hallie out of her shell. Being on the defensive for so long has left her raw, and she doesn’t know who to trust.

On a group hike, the incessant bullying pushes Hallie to her limit. When Hallie, Rachel, and Hallie’s former friend Jonah get separated from the rest of the group, the situation quickly turns dire. Stranded in the wilderness, the three have no choice but to band together.

With past betrayals and harrowing obstacles in their way, Hallie fears they’ll never reach safety. Could speaking up about the night that changed everything close the distance between being lost and found? Or has she traveled too far to come back?

Were this book wholly contemporary, I don't think we would have gotten along so well. But the emphasis of the whole book is put on survival, and that really drives the story, makes it into something quite extraordinary when paired with the important issues it highlights.

The main character of this book, Hallelujah, is a victim of bullying and lies and reputation, and because of this she has retreated into herself, found comfort in silence even though it leaves her alone, vulnerable. This story is about a girl learning to trust again - to trust people, and herself, and her own judgement. It's about learning to accept what has happened, what you can control, and what you can't.

A major emphasis of this book is on how women silence themselves, and how a male voice will always be louder than a female, will always be heard. That this is in a YA novel is commendable.

This book is about how women are taught to analyse even their smallest actions when things go wrong and to place blame on themselves. Because we must have done something wrong, been in the wrong place, given the wrong impression. Hallelujah even says in the book that she shouldn't have been in the wrong place, that it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't gone to a guy's room to say goodnight, despite it being an innocent decision - she places the blame of a guy choosing to humiliate her and bully her for months on one action she made - importantly ON HERSELF. Because that is what a society run by men teaches women to do. 

And The Distance Between Lost and Found is not ashamed or afraid to call out that bullshit, to throw stark light on the reality of sexual reputation for women, on the damage that lies can do to young girls, on the damage that young girls can do to each other.

A piercing, atmospheric survival story that explores the silencing of women and the blame we place unfairly on ourselves.

Characters ★★★★★

Setting/world building ★★★★★

Writing ★★★★☆

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This book counts toward my Monthly Key Word challenge!

See my progress on my Read in 2015 page!

Key words: And